Drive

Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. I  am a  girl who wants to get in her red car alone and drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Far away. Don't look back. Singing at the top of my lungs. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Stop at lots of  hole in the wall restaraunts. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Listen to songs that make me cry. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Find a antique store run by an old man who can tell me what I need to hear. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Learn life lessons from strangers along the way. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. See burnt down houses. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. For hours without seeing another soul. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. To a place where no one knows my name. Drive. Drive. Drive. Until I see the ocean. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. And never look back.

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}

He's out there...pinky promise

Yes I'll admit for those of you who don't know me I am single. Although I think I like this one boy. I'm pretty secretive about it.  I definately had the opportunity this past tuesday to call it S.A.D {singles awareness day}. I could of had a horrendous day and focused on my loneliness. But guess what? I woke up this beautiful tuesday and decided that I was going to have a good day. Because guess what? We really do choose if a day is gonna be a good day. I wake up every morning and tell myself that today will be awesome! Because I get the choice. Isn't that amazing?! You do too! I don't like calling v-day valentines day because its about LOVE. There are so many types of love. Friends, family, lovie dovie, stranger, pets, and most importantly SELF love. Self love is what I want to talk about. You need to realize the things that you do that make you unique and love them. What is commonly reffered to is as weird is what makes us us. Every single person is weird. I'll admit there are alot of things that I don't like about myself. But there are also a lot of things that  I DO like about myself. I like how I get excited over the little things, how I skip when I'm happy, how I sing along to Etta James, how I get lost in a book and forget the rest of the world,  how I spend unhealthy amounts listening to Rosi Golan pandora , how I talk to strangers. I like these things about me. And they're probably what people view as weird. But I don't care. I love myself. And you  should love yourself too. Because we're all awesome. You can't truly love another person or accept another persons love untill you love yourself.

 Don't worry the right boy will come along. I promise. I can't give up hope. Don't settle for less. We will love the wrong boy's in life. But they are what is right at the  time for us. Everything happens for a reason. He will come along and maybe he won't be everything you've ever wanted but he'll be everything you need. He will make you smile. He will hold you close. He will love you with everything he has. He's coming. Maybe he's just like you. Trying to find the right girl for him. But going for the wrong girls. Delaying him. He's looking for you too. Don't give up.

He's out there.
Pinky Promise. 

hey little girl in the steve madden boots

don't count yourself out yet. 

you have no idea what's ahead of you.

you just don't see it yet.

it'll be worth it. worth it all.

Someone wrote this for me.

Check out this magic  here. You'll like it.

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}

Pretty

I don't know how much you pay attention to me, but I love to wear dresses and skirts. I love high heels. I love waking up and curling my hair. I love wearing my eyeliner in a cat eye. I love red lipstick {NARS heatwave}. I love rosy cheeks. I love long eyelashes. I love drinking tea with honey. I love feeling PRETTY. Not hot. Not sexy. Once upon a time woman dressed to look innocence. Because innocence is a virtue. When did pretty become out of date? I would love to be told that I look stunning. I would love to be told I'm gorgeous.

I would love to be told I'm beautiful. I don't want someone to notice my boobs or my butt. I want a guy to notice my personality. I don't get pretty for the world. I get pretty for me. I  am more confidant if I get dressed up. I work harder. I strive to be better. I feel more compassionate and motherly. I just feel flowey like  I can shine. I can rule the world in a dress. I can overcome anything. I can deal with people being mean to me. I am a WOMAN.  Woman are STRONG. I dare you to wear a dress once this week. Just because. Not for anyone or church. Wear a dress for you. Don't be told you're less because you're a woman. You are beautiful and perfect the way you are. Don't rely on your looks to get through life. Prove the stereotypes wrong. Quit looking at other girls and wishing you were them. Because I am certain she is looking at some other girl wishing she was her. Be happy with your pretty self. Because thats what you are, Pretty.

{Peace. Love. And Granola Bars}

Thank you peter pan.

Survived my first haunted house. Big accomplishment for this girl. real life. Once upon a time, there were these people in my neighborhood. they had a "haunted house" in their garage every year. There was a little girl named Clara {refered to as maggot, by some of her not so nice class mates}. She wanted her candy,donuts and hot chocolate. But she couldn't get it until she went through the stupid garage. (not bitter or anything) they would turn on all the lights, turn off the music, and she would cry her way through. Well her fear of haunted houses followed to adult hood. (alright...sixteenhood). One day carmel asked me to go to a haunted house. I said yes. I needed to confront her fears and didn't want to be seen as a wuss. More of reason 2 then reason 1.

Just call me madame Luna

She I and becoming a t-a for Mr. Logan. Went to my little brothers halloween class party. Figured out if I'd  was in the sixth grade right now, I'd be hella popular. Born five years too early I tell ya. Took a nap. Had Lauren come over to play for a little bit. Then handed out candy. My father got mad at me for giving too much candy to each kid. SOOOOOORRRY. not. only young once right? Loved seeing the costumes. got four numbers. Loved complimenting the kids.

Then Carmel met me halfway to the car. In the car  were five beautiful girls. Of course. You know heaven forbid I can't act like an idiot in front of ugly people. We drove. Tail gated a huge cemi. Forget the possible out comes that could of happened. When they pulled up to the haunted house "Awakening". Frightening right? First thing seen as driving into the parking lot? A ten foot tall monster. Carmel drags Clara to the door of the place. But before she even gets there, the ten foot tall monster see's Clara. Clara starts freaking out. The stupid monster follows her and they run a BLOCK AND A HALF away. Oh man. Thats bad. Hello wimp. Wimp and proud. Imagine me screaming, and running, and all the other girls laughing hysterically at me.

I would seriously consider dating him.

I get calmed down. I'm not gonna go in. I'm gonna sit in the lobby and wait. But oh no. Carmel has other plans for me. She pay's for my ticket. {$14}. Thats alot of money when you're constantly broke! I get up the stairs. Get literally dragged into the door. In there I meet two guys, ben and parker. Parker was dressed up as Peter Pan. Okay time to go to the real haunted house. Freaking out. But no..Parker grabs my hand and takes me down in to a certain death. (most likely by heart attack then murder, but dying all the same). I wouldn't look at anything but the floor. But once a guy drops out at me and I start to scream, which quickly turns into laughter. Parker is holding onto my hand and I bring my head up. I can do this. I'm brave. Plus I have a cute guy holding my hand. I realized if I sass mouthed the monsters it wasn't scary. In fact, it turned out to be a BUNCH of  fun! Thank you Parker. I'm sorry I called you Peter  all night. I never claimed to be good with names. Oh and you know I wouldn't be offended if you asked me for my number. You know after holding your hand for an hour. Oh and I can not believe I turned into one of "those" girls. The one who gets all scared and cuddles with boys cause of it.

babes.

So long story short. We have to face our fears. Because maybe we overthing stuff in our heads. Maybe something we consider scary will be funny. Or good for us. Like falling for the right guy(so I've been told). Going out on a limb and going back to school after you wreck your car and have no friends. Finding faith  on the way down. Standing up for someone. Not taking no for an answer.  God will keep us safe. Happy first of november!!!

like our new friend??

THE monster I ran away from. No big deal. He's also a pole dancer.

{Peace. Love. And Granola Bars}

How sweet the sound

"Amazing Grace how sweet the sound....I once was lost, but now am found, was blind but now I see"

I woke up this morning subconciously humming this song. My first thought was of my Lord. Not of a boy, not of worrying about spanish, not of drama, not wishing my family was together.

I am literally made free by the love of the Lord.

Doesn't mean I wont have bad days, it just means I'll have more strength to get through them.

Its gonna be a good week! I mean how could it not be!? When my first thought monday morning is how much God and Jesus love me.

I may not belong to any one religion, but I like my spirituality. Of course the
 Bible is extremely helpful, and I read it every night and morning, and sometimes in the middle of the day. I started reading it each day as a chalenge, but now I look forward to it!

The shack--William P. Young

Yes I know that is a work of "fiction" but it helped me alot. I really think you need to read it. If you need a copy, I'll willingly get you one.

It made me realize that bad things happen, and its not our fault. And yes, God  could stop them, but he doens't. Because it is all part of a bigger picture that we do not not know about yet.

I love my God and Savior, and I hope you do too!

Yep it takes work, and we got to open our heart up to him!

{Peace. Love. And Granola Bars}