Hard battle back up

Rumors. Drama. Mean.

There. I summed up highschool. One of lifes greatest mysteries.

Today is like a monday AND a friday to me! I don't think it could get any better!

I had a migraine and literally didn't get out of bed untill 7pm yesterday. And that was only to bathe and rent the movie "Thor". My dad was on call and I got to baby sit David. Although it just feels like I'm hanging out with a best friend. I learned "enchanted" "mean" and "haunted" by Taylor Swift on the piano yesterday. Like memorized them and everything. So today is my only day of school this week. Due to the lovely fact that I am leaving for texas TOMORROW. I get to see my sis, Vivian, Grant and all of the other fun people who live there!

Its probably a good thing for me to be getting away from this place for a few days.

Ever since I wrecked my car on September 23. My lifes just gone down hill.

I've lost a lot of my friends. I've gone from a "straight A" student to a "B" student.

But on the upside. I've strengthened my friendships with Nolle and Krista.

Kind of scared to see how people treat me today. With all the rumors and stuff. If you're reading this say a little prayer for me!

{Peace. Love. And Granola Bars}

picking noses and commence operation

Right now I am laying on Nolles bedroom floor. On top of George. My stuffed gargoyle with man boobs who wears a bra. I like him. He treats me  better then any guy I know. Guess what. I'm giving up on boys. . I am TIRED of waiting around. And I'm not doing it anymore. Plus I still have a crush on my stupid "first kiss".  Gross. I have it somewhere in my mind that he likes me too. I'm pretty pessimistic right now. I'm sorry. Well last night. I went to speech therapy. Went and took a final for spanish at byu. Got a 89% on my first semster in 3 weeks! Went to Jdawgs to celebrate(YUM!). Got hit on by a 33 year old. Who asked if I wanted to be in his movies. Until I figure out what kind of movies...no thanks. Then the mom and I went to the D.I. with Mike. I got george my gorgoyle there. I tried carrying on a conversation with a deaf and mute man(didn't work). And bought a perfectly ugly sweater. I love it, and my mom thinks its hideous. Then I carved pumpkins at my house with Krista,Nib and Sean. Guess what boy didn't come over? Then I spent the night at Nolle's and i LOVE our late night therapy sessions(: They make everything make so much sense.  Like for that little while that were talking, I don't feel as confused any more.Oh heres the plan stan. If both me and Nolle are not married by the time we are 37 we are becoming lesbians together. She will shave her head, and we will have a wedding where men wear dresses and women wear suits. Please RSVP soon. We are starting our fund for adoptions now. I really don't want to be single anymore. Hence "Operation Single no longer". Cross your fingers for me! Sorry this post is stupid I know.

You Can Pick Your Friends, And You Can Pick Your Nose. But you Can't Pick Your Friends Nose.

Actually We Can. And Did.

We are really pretty. Not like I'm biased or anything.

I didn't get the memo that it was a silly face photo.

Krista making her pictorial debut on my blog.

{Peace. Love. And Granola Bars}

Somtimes it explodes out of my pants

Sometimes life hands you the most perfect old man sweater.

Cozy and warm like an old friend

It might not be the prettiest sweater, but it is just the one you've been looking for.

Just the thought of this old worn sweater makes you smile

Burying your face in it makes your confusion go away.

You saw it and you knew your search was over.

You're like that sweater to me.

Song: The way I am-Ingrid Michaelson

{Peace. Love. And Granola Bars}

Friday night

Friday movie night and I'm here alone. Missing you. I miss play fighting. I miss cuddling. I miss laughing for absolutely no reason. I miss you. Can we work it out? Because honestly this sucks. I just wish  that I could swallow my pride and tell that I need you. But I'm not. I'm stubborn. And I know that you know it. Because you're just as stubborn as me. And that is one of the things that I love about you. Because I like that you argue with me, and make me feel angry about you. It's sexy and hot. Anger is a part of passion.

Anyway...on with my day. Today I went to the voice therapist. I have speech therapy so I can hopefully be able to sing soon. Its stupid. I have to talk in a quiet breathy voice. And I sound like a ditz. Like the level of my smartness has gone down like a billion times. It kind of sucks. People already make fun of me, and call me stupid, thank you blonde stereotypes. I know I'm not stupid. I get to massage my throat, jaw, and chin. Fabulous. And do pretty cool excercises. Today I went to savers with Nolle, Krista, and Alex. I LOVE these girls. We ended up with old man sweaters(nib and I). Cute vintage dress(krista) and walking out in just our underwear(Alex). Then Alex had to ruin my night and leave, okay I still had a good day. But I LOVE alex and am excited for our sleepover! Next weekend, we are going to cornbellies and the aquarium. Yes a group of 16 year old girls. Then we picked up the beautiful Rachel. I didn't really know her before, but I can see us being really good friends. For the long run. Then we went to target. I showed her the amazing chair that I got on the side of the road once upon a time. I'll have to write that story soon. Then we read http://www.autocorrectfail.org/  and laughed extremely hard. Words do not describe how AMAZING this life is. Well I'm spending the weekend with my GORGEOUS mommy in salt lake. I'm going to tour the university of utah. And wear my rain boots and bright orange rain coat.

Have a good weekend!

Song: That girl-David Choi

{Peace. Love. And Granola Bars}

Failure

So I don't know about you, but I'm failing at the "just friends" thing.

Way to be. I can't see you without liking you more.

Great. I hope you're failing at it too.

It seems my brain knows you're forbidden and its like "Oh I want him! Badly."

Just fandamntastic.

Just so you know you give me heart palpatations.

I feel as if I'm going to have to go to the hospital soon, they're so bad.

I hope you're going through this too.

If you want to help me, will you please stop being so: cute, funny, caring, charming, perfectly flawed, sweet, spontaneous, opionanited, stubborn.

Stop making me like you.

Thank you

{Peace. Love. And Granola Bars}

What if I fall and hurt my self?

Just So you know, I lay in bed at night and make up hypothetical solutions between you and I.

And no, it's not creepy.

Song: Hazy-Rosi Golan

{Peace. Love. And Granola Bars}

Old men jogging

Since not having a car I walk home from school. Today I was singing along to my favorite song. At the top of my lungs. I hear cat calls. Cool hot guys are making fun of me. If only. It was 4 old men with out shirts on. I mean like in their 60's or 70's. Hello, don't men have to work? I saw a BUNCH of working age people on bikes or jogging. I have to go to school, so they should have to go to work!

The song would be this one.

I had a bagel when I got home. One half with strawberry cream cheese. The other half with honey walnut.

The honey walnut looks like it has bugs in it.

Its kind of gross.

The ironic thing is the song.

I've been told I'm a heart breaker. 

I don't know. 

I guess I am. 

I don't mean to hurt the boys. 

Sometimes I just want to make out and have someone call me beautiful and have them buy me things.

 I don't mean to lead him on. Today would be one of those days. I kind of just want to have a ncmo(non commital make out) Yes. My hormones are that of a boys it feels like.

Oops I did it again.

Promise I'm not like that. I do want to be in love. You can tell when I like someone. I am not a slut. 

 Yesterday while riding my bike I saw a boy who I can't get out of my head. 

Him:"Whats up?"

Me: "hello"

No idea what his name was. 

I hope I get to see him again. 

And meet him.

I think that its love at first sight.

I was wearing THIS shirt.

Yes the gorgeous girl is my best friend.

I might have to break down and buy my own spiderman shirt.

I look really good in Lehi Junior high shorts. Nope I didn't go to Lehi.

I really like the guys I meet in the library at lunch.

They may not wear all the "cool" clothes.

But they are Sweet hearts. and ATTRACTIVE. I'm gonna introduce myself to a new boy each day for the month of october.

I have three hours of A.C.T. prep today. Yay. (obvious enthusiam)

{Peace. Love. And Granola Bars}