So today me and Nolle went into the orchestra room. We saw Alex. She said that a defense attorney was an asshole. Nolle said, don't worry we know a few of them, and I chimed in yeah I've dated some. Alex thought we were talking about defense attorneys. Not so. Thats why I love her.
Oh and little miss rapidly ruining others relationships, STOP. I'm sorry that you're own relationship didn't work out, but don't ruin something good for someone else
Oh here's what I really wanted to write today.
Its a letter to a guy that I "used" to like. I still do. I know I'm stupid.
I don't let myself think of you. Because what is the use of wishing for the impossible things? You will never love me the way that I want you too. Maybe we are meant to be, but we're both too afraid to shy. I remember staying up nights in a row talking to you. And kissing you. And all your sweet little nothings that made me twirl like a little girl. I allow myself to think of you at night. When I'm alone, and I can revel in being alone. I can't be fully into relationships with other guys becasue I am in love with you. Its bad for me, but you're like my drug. I keep on going back to you, if only in my mind. You won't even lok me in the eyes and I wish that you would. I hate seeing you hugging other girls. And the fact that you can be happy when you're not with me. I know I'm brave enough to talk to you, but we agreed not to talk. So I'll keep to hearing about your life from secondary sources. I'm sorry for being mean. And not fighting my own battles. And being to desperate. And too needy. And weird. And not skinny enough. I wont change for you though. You can love me for who I am. If you're reading this I just have one thing to say to you. I miss you. And I'm sorry.
Song: Birthday-Jillian Edwards. Sometimes a song sums up how I feel, better then I ever could.
{Peace. Love. And Granola Bars}
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