Guess what?

I'm going to prom. {!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$6:.7$!!!!!//kgafgghhbeep!!!!}

The words never came out right

Have you ever been in love?

At the tender age of 15 I thought I was.

Again at 16.

With the same boy.

The feeling that you would do anything for him.

You would even let him go if thats what it took to make him happy.

They say if you like the same person for more than four months its love, not a crush anymore.

This song for some reason makes me weak at the knees.

This is going to be the song during the moment.

The moment I know I'm completely in love

{sweetdreams. day dreams and night dreams alike}

I'm perfectly fine with that

I'm just a girl who laughs to hard and dreams to much.

 I'm fine with that.

I'm just a girl who sings to often and drives to fast.

I'm fine with that.

 I'm just a girl who flirts to little and reads to deep.

I'm fine with that.

I'm just a girl who runs to slow and wants to see to much.

 I'm fine with that.

 I'm just a girl who drinks to much tea and eats to much sweets.

 I'm fine with that.

 I'm just a girl who is her own person.

 I'm perfectly fine with that.

{sweet dreams. day dreams and night dreams alike}

knocking on your door

I still have the feeling that something good is going to happen.

No I haven't been asked to prom yet {may 5} and I most likely won't.

I picked out my dress just in case though. Its yellow. like a canary.

If I was skinnier I'd have a date.

If I was ditzier I'd have a date.

If I was wittier I'd have a date.

If I prettier I'd hav a date.
I realized though, that its not my fault.

I am beautiful enough, smart enough, nice enough.

And so are you.

The right boy for me won't care that I love to sing music from the 60's at the top of my lungs.

He won't judge me on the clothes that I wear to school.

{best friend works}
He'll be proud to call me his.

I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night.

I won't settle.

I know that I could have a boyfriend if I lowered my standards of boy's.

But I won't.

I want him to be nice to not just me, but everyone he meets.

I want a boy who is ambitious and knows that he  wants to go somewhere in his life.

He doesn't have to know what, but he is working hard anyway.

When I was flying home from Texas, I was looking at the cars that look the size of ants.
 I realized that my future soul mate could very well be in one of those cars right then.

Don't think that its your fault that you didn't get asked to prom.

Because its a stupid dance.

And despite not getting asked you WILL still get married.

Don't think you'll end up being a lonely crazy old cat lady.

There's hope.

Highschool boy's are seriously immature.

We really don't know who we are yet.

When the time is right, that boy will come a-knocking.

It might not be soon.

It might be months, or years in fact.

You just have to learn in those years.

Learn what things make you happy.

What things make you sad.

Dream and learn.

So I know you're lonely, but don't be.

Someone will come along who is so amazing and nice and sweet and handsome.

He'll make you forget about any other boy that broke your heart.
He will love you .

Remember patience is a virtue.

Hold out for a hero.

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}

Why?

Cool. I'm a complete loser. Blogging holding a fake baby at the vow{movie}_. I have given up on prom. and it makes me cry. But I've gone through much harder things. This still hurts though. Sometimes I wish I knew what gods plan is. I don't understand I had to have my family ripped apart. Why I had to have my innocence taken away by molestation at 11. Why I can't keep friends. Why people don't like me. Why my car got totaled. Why I can't even get asked to prom for the one year i could go. I know everything happens for a reason but I wish i knew what the reason was. Can't something go right for me? Help god. I'm lost and tired. I try to be happy but it's do hard.

Whats shakin sexy?

{best part of my week. by far.}

Little bo peep has lost her sheep and doesn't know where to find them.

Although its more like she lost her wits, and I'm bo peep.

I'm getting a baby simulator for the weekend, and am minorly excited.

I know this is a bit backwards since the project is to deter teen pregnancy.

But I can't wait to be a mom.

I can't wait to be pregnant and drink tea with a big belly and a good book.

I can't wait to realize that a baby will be living inside me.

I'm a girl, and being so I have a nurturing side.

I don't like seeing people hurt, and I get along fairly well with children.

I love playing princesses, construction, doctor, name it I love it.

I love the feel of a baby in my arms.

Although I wont' be having a baby anytime soon. Just a fake one.

I want to go to college and get a career and then I can start thinking of a baby.

Because its pretty much physically impossible for me to have a baby.

Unless I will be the next virgin mary.

Sorry for being sac religious.

Its the weekend. Finally.

This week seemed to drag on--and on--and on--and on--and on--and on--you get the point.

I'm glad to be graduating so I don't have to deal with waiting and hoping and wishing to get asked to a dance, and then not. Even though EVERYONE around you is getting asked. Even the people you think are kind of strange {although who are you to judge?}.

And you?

You just ever so slyly check your front porch everyday for weeks hoping that today is the day. Even though it never really is.

So what am I doing instead of prom you ask?

Getting my wisdom teeth out.

Sweet.

Awesome.

Chill.

How did my life get this awesome?

Prom...nah I'll get my wisdom teeth out instead.

Pretty dress with cute boy....nah topknot and lortab.

Although if I were to get asked{I really really really really really really really want to} I could change the day of my surgery.

Although lets not get too ahead of ourselves here.

This week I am grateful for

1. Flannel Friday

2. The monkey picture on top of my blog

3. Carrots

4. Cafe Rio multiple times

5. My best friend Nib and my other bestfriend Carson

6. The books bloom by Kelle Hampton & Heaven is Here by Stephanie Nielson

7. Great looking tracker bracelets for a-mentioned fake baby

8. The girls in p.e.

9. My sister, niece, and nephew

10. THe oppurtunity I have been blessed with to get a good education

11.Passing all my classes after missing a week of school

12. Gods little everyday miracles

13. Rainboots even though its not raining 

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}

Topknotts and sperrys=weekend

{Don't second guess your feelings, you were right from the start.}

Its almost the weekend. One more morning of waking up and getting ready.

Then a top knot,sperrys, and glasses for two days.

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}

Silly girl crushes are for kids

The feeling of the  tingles in your chest when you see him.

The laying awake at night wishing you could just be with him.

The trying to get up the courage to talk to him.
But then making yourself believe he doesn't want you to.
Maybe he does.
Maybe he misses you as much as you miss him.
Maybe you're telling yourself this to make the pain hurt less.
I can't stand it.
I am head over heels.
With someone I don't even know anymore.
I want closure.
But more than that I want him.

 The laughing at some memory of him.

The telling your bestfriend you're over him.
The confusion of a  crush.

{I got senior pics taken}

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}

Darling will you make me pancakes?

Have you ever had the feeling?

You know the one.

The little one where you just know that something good is coming.

In your heart.

Nothing points to something  beautiful about to  happen.

You have no idea what amazing thing would happen to little old you.

You just know it will be life changing.

Its coming.

Oh please hurry.

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}

Oh hello boy. I've missed you.

Hey boy.

You're kind of cute. I kind of like you. Not like I talk to you anymore. If I did though, this is what I'd say. Hey! How are you? Oh you're wearing that blue shirt? The one that I like that brings out your eye's. You have the sexiest eyes. I notice how those eyes glue to me everytime I walk by. Just like my blue eyes are glued to you. Are you excited  for summer? Are you going to lay on your tramp and look at the stars again? Are you going to  go dirtbiking? Maybe we should hang out. I think we could have fun. Although me asking you to hang out seems rather strange. Considering how I can't say hi when you walk by. Although a few fridays I did say hi to you. Or my best friend did. We're a package deal anyway. How are your sisters? Have you found any pretty songs you want to tell me about? I am doing good. I've saved my heart for you. I haven't let another boy truly have it. Please make a move?

Girl.

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}

Life is a dream.

I would like to be able to write. But I can't seem to find words. Not that I don't have anything to say. I do. But its simple. How much I love 8 year old Vivian and 4 year old Grant. I have 44 day's till I graduate. Count down has officialy begun. I've been accepted to UCSB {santa barbara in cali}. I had spring break. Went to Austin. Snuck down town one night. Love the vibe. Its eclectic, weird, different. I fit in. I have the best little brother in the world. My family loves me. I love them. I took senior pictures yesterday. Lifes blissful. Dream like. I don't want it to change. I feel like I'm in a dream. The weathers warm. I'm wearing my new favorite high heels. I love seeing sunsets. I love wishing on dandelions and sometimes pulling over while driving specifically for the reason of getting to blow on one. I love listening to pretty music. I like the idea of holding hands. My hairs been surprisingly cooperative with me as of late. I've not had to cut anything out to get a snarl. Not even a tear has been shed during the taming of the beast. {or hairbrushing as its normally referred to} I would like to go to prom. But if I don't thats okay too. I just have a really clever way of answering. I mean if I were to get asked. I've read two beautiful memoirs. I'm feeling hopeful. Happiness is  truly right around the corner.

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}

my social/dating/highschool/health life

it's a crapshit

{sweetdreams. day dreams and night dreams alike}

Prom Shmom...who needs it? me.

skipped the assembly today.

went to starbucks with Carson, Alex, and Sunshine.{Jake}

got yummy delightful coffee.

laughed.

told stories.

everything was lovely.

until the subject of prom was brought up.

everyone has dates.

i don't.

{big surprise...not}

so what do i do?

i tell everyone i think prom is a stupid waste of time.

i'm over the whole highschool experience including prom.

but want to know a secret?

i want to go to prom.

desperately.

more than anything right now.

i want to dress up in a long sparkly gown.

i want to feel pretty for a night.

i want to take cheesey pictures.

i want to dance to horrible music.

its my one year to go to dances.

since i don't have a senior year.

i'll go to prom inside my head.

i'll dance alone to taylor swift in my room.

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}

Girl

Penny loafers turn her on.

Dreams more in the day than at night.

She likes her thrift store shopping.

Driving with the windows down.

Laughing too hard.

Wishing for love.

Warm tea with honey makes her tingly.

Undone wet hair  with dresses  make her feel like a beach goddess.

The world is her playground.

She's just the way she is but no-ones told her thats okay

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}