Um yes this is true

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Or every single sight. 

The first sight of the day. 

The first sight of the week. 

The forty seventh sight of the day.

Even though you ended it forever ago.

And you're on the phone with your mom.

Damn it. SAY HELLO TO ME.

Because I sure ain't going to grow the balls to say hello anytime soon.

 

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}

Favorite

I'll blog in a little bit.  After school or later. Most likely later.

Current favorite things

Climbing a tree for the very first time 

Bike rides with my all time best friend

Crushing on a guy with a mustache

Whose number I got at a movie theatre.

Some what like this. 

But younger and still alive.

And cuter.

I have good taste.

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}

Kelly Clarkson and the Olsen twins

Sometimes I get sort of pissy.

Then I listen to depressing slow break up songs.

Because they help.

Then I decide that some good chocolate would be a good idea.

Than I remember that I'm going to be leaving for Italy in 50 days and I want to be skinny there.

So I get in my car thinking the whole way. And doing my best Kelly Clarkson impersonation.

I realize everything will be okay.

And for Gods sake I'm 22 day's away from 17.

Its not like my biological clock is going to be running out anytime soon.

I have my whole life for relationships, work, and adult things.
So why do I have this strong urge for a perfect boy?

Probably because every movie I watched as a little girl{yes I'm implying Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen}

wasn't ever until the girl got the guy.

So what if my personal movie is going a little bit longer?

Sue me.

20 days I'll be graduated. People can think whatever the heck they want to about me.

I know I'm a good person and thats all that matters.

First Frappe's of the season

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}

A night to remember

{corsage and raine}

 Yes  I went to prom. I wore a perfectly pretty pink flowy long gown. Bright yellow high heels. Every time I took a step my gown swept across my ankles. Making me feel that the ocean was lapping at my feet.  I felt like I was in a disney movie. Yes it was better than what I've been dreaming about since I was a little girl. We got our hair and makeup done. We had the cheesey pictures of putting on the bootunaire and corsages. We went to dinner at the tree room at Sundance. Amazing food, lots of laughter. We would of upset a proper lady from our obscene behavior. Walked around and it was beautiful with the river rushing through and the super moon. The moon which was so close you  could see the craters, reminding you that even something so bright has flaws.  The dance was a highschool dance. Had cheesecake and a beautiful drive to Lehi while listening  to our favorite love songs. I had an amazing group who didn't make it feel like we were going to a stiff awkward formal. No Raine, Carson, and Nolle made it beautiful. Realized that love wouldn't be such a bad thing after all. A night to remember. No matter how cliche the words are.
{I'll have more pics once I upload them off my camera}

{ I am so unbelievably lucky to have these brilliant people in my life}

{Yes we are soulmates. In some strange way we were destined for  eachother}

{sweet dreams. day dreams and night dreams alike}

What a beautiful inconveniance

A boyfriend would be an inconveniance.

Thats what I'm telling everyone.

I mean in a little less than four months I'll be in college. Wherever that may be.

Plus I'm going to Europe for a few weeks in july.

I won't be able to have a random fling with some european guy who only sings in italian.

I won't be able to flirt at 7-peaks to get my ice cream for free.

I mean it might just make me put my dreams on hold.

Not get the whole crazy college girl life I've been thinking of.

It would be a horribley huge inconveniance.

An inconveniance to lie on a hill and watch fireworks go off.

An inconveniance to hold his hand and wish on stars.

An inconveniance to go to random concerts and kiss on my favorite bridge.

A welcome and beautiful inconveniance that would be.

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}

Wishing well, wishing well I need your help

I know if you say your wish out loud it won't come true.

As if saying it out loud is too close to actually hoping it might come true.

Making you vulnerable.

This isn't out loud. Its written. For the whole world to see.

I am open to being vulnerable. Even though its hard.

Wishes:

1. An Earth shattering, life changing, soul saving love.

2. A need for me on this earth.

3. To live in a little old house with a front porch and big trees.

4. To go to a place where I'm annonymous.

5. To have beauitul healthy babies.

6. To have my singing voice back and to sing everywhere. cafes. street. maddison square gardens.

7. For you to know that you are loved.

8. For baby blue eyes to notice I saw him in his blue shirt. And  for him or me to get the courage to talk.

9. The opportunity to never lose my love for learning.

10. To alway's keep a healthy body.

11. An earth shattering, life changing soul changing love.

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}

Letter to a lover

20 seconds of insane courage. Or complete insanity is all that is needed to make the stupidest but possibly best decision of my life. 20 seconds to walk up to you and give you this letter. This letter to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way things ended between us. I'm sorry for calling you an a-hole. I'm sorry I allowed things to get to the level that they did. I'm sorry we didn't work out. I'm sorry for believing you when you said you cared. I didn't get the memo that it was all a game,  just words, not feelings. except for me it was feelings. Real, deep, life changing feelings. I don't think you're a bad person, I think you're letting your - how should we word this?- hormones take over your brain. I think- wait -I know you're going good places in life. Me? I don't know what I'm going to do. Be happy, try to figure things out. I guess I'm okay not knowing what I'm going to do tomorrow, or matter of fact what i'll be doing in ten minutes. I'm content living life one teeny tiny second at a time. I guess I wrote you this letter for closure but I found it on my own. So this is a letter to say goodbye. Maybe. But I'd be happy with a hello again I've missed and thought about you letter. This is a come what may and love it letter. This is a letter I wrote just for you. I'm crossing my fingers that this letter doesn't end up in the trash. What am I doing while you're reading this letter? Trying to remember how to breathe. Wishing for a letter back and then laughing at that silly idea. And yes I still do love you. I alway's will. But I can be happy without you.

Goodbye to the past, and hello the future.Wether you're in it or not.

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}

i am not...i'm so much more

I am not a brunette. I am not a bully. I am not french. I am not a genious. I am not a model. I am not a slut. I am not a religious girl. I am not a fully non-judgemental person. I am not a lesbian. I am not popular. I am not an athlete. I am not  crafty. I am not a good hand writer. I am not a fabulous driver. I am not a perfect daughter. I am not a girl who gets asked on dates. I am not ugly. I am not that different from you.

Lets focus on the I ams.

I am beautiful in my own way. I am a motivated hard worker. I am a person who gives chances. I am an adventurer. I am a reader. I am a skiier. I am a friend. I am a decent driver. I am a dreamer. I am classy. I am nice. I am spiritual. I am a person I like.

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}