Letter to a lover

20 seconds of insane courage. Or complete insanity is all that is needed to make the stupidest but possibly best decision of my life. 20 seconds to walk up to you and give you this letter. This letter to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way things ended between us. I'm sorry for calling you an a-hole. I'm sorry I allowed things to get to the level that they did. I'm sorry we didn't work out. I'm sorry for believing you when you said you cared. I didn't get the memo that it was all a game,  just words, not feelings. except for me it was feelings. Real, deep, life changing feelings. I don't think you're a bad person, I think you're letting your - how should we word this?- hormones take over your brain. I think- wait -I know you're going good places in life. Me? I don't know what I'm going to do. Be happy, try to figure things out. I guess I'm okay not knowing what I'm going to do tomorrow, or matter of fact what i'll be doing in ten minutes. I'm content living life one teeny tiny second at a time. I guess I wrote you this letter for closure but I found it on my own. So this is a letter to say goodbye. Maybe. But I'd be happy with a hello again I've missed and thought about you letter. This is a come what may and love it letter. This is a letter I wrote just for you. I'm crossing my fingers that this letter doesn't end up in the trash. What am I doing while you're reading this letter? Trying to remember how to breathe. Wishing for a letter back and then laughing at that silly idea. And yes I still do love you. I alway's will. But I can be happy without you.

Goodbye to the past, and hello the future.Wether you're in it or not.

{sweetdreams. Day dreams and night dreams alike}