What I am doing right now? Im sitting on my roof with listening to nevershoutnever. Okay, How the heck is this relevant at all? This is just a simple everyday doing. You know I suppose its not that exciting to anyone. This is so amazing to me. Know why? Because yesterday I was driving with Lauren and Presley my car. A 2008 black pontiac grand prix that I lovingly named Ramone. We were on our way to Gen-X(yes the ghetto store) to see if they had any shiny gold leggings. Were just school spirited girls, what can I say? We were crossing the street at Carterville and 800 south. I checked across the intersection. All clear. Its about half way down a hill, without a stop light. I started across the intersection. I look to my left, and coming down the hill is a big red truck. I can't just stop. Because traffic going up the hill would hit me. I push the gas all the way to the floor, and swerve into the lane of oncoming traffic(which thankfully there wasn't any). I blink. When I open my eyes I am going to barf. What the hell just happened? Why did we quit driving? Why are Lauren and Presley crying? My head hurts, and I have blood running into my eyes from my forehead. We got broadsided. By a truck going 65 miles perhour. I got hit and the truck pushed me forty feet. Into a stopsign. Which I knocked over, and blew out my tire. I need to get out of the car. Thankfully Presley is already out. I take off my seatbelt and get out. Oh my gosh, someones dead and it is all my fault. Laurens freaking out. She's the one who got the impact. She is literally touching the truck where the door should be. People start coming over and asked if we were okay. Yes, you know minus the fact we just got broadsided and there's blood all over. They're trying to tell me to sit down. What the hell. SOMEONE NEEDS TO GET LAUREN OUT OF THE CAR! Can you turn off the car? Yes I can and I do. Lauren crawls out by herself. They make Presley and Lauren sit down. Whats your name? Clara. Clara sit down. Its okay, everyones going to be fine. No I am not going to sit down. Your going to pass out. I don't care. I hope I die. I should of been the one that got the impact. I want to die. I am going to kill myself. I am so worthless. Clara, your head is bleeding badly, we need to check you out. No I am trying to die. I don't need help. Everyone is ignoring me at this point. Its hard to be nice to someone who keeps pushing you away. I didn't want help. I feel arms around me. What? Why is someone trying to help me? Don't they realize that I am worthless, Lauren and Presley are so much more important then me. I open my eyes, its a beautiful woman with pigtail braids. Blank tanktop. Leather chaps. Multiple piercings. A kindred spirit. Clara, how does she know my name? Clara you are worth so much. Don't you ever forget how much you are worth. God put you on this earth for an important reason. You are going to go far. You are beautiful. No I am not. Yes you are. Clara, do you write songs? Yes how do you know? who told you? no-one did, I could tell. This is going to be an experience to write a song about . If God thought you were worthless, he wouldn't of let you live through this experience. Clara I want you to look me in the eyes, and promise me this. Remember to breathe when life gets rough, thank God everyday. Because Every day is a blessing. I'd never met this woman in my life before. She is an angel. A real live angel. My guardian angel. Her name is Paula. She is my beacon of hope. I have her to thank. She helped more than the police, firemen, doctors anyone. She's right. God was watching over us in that car. We are all fine. I am going to try every day to prove to God that he made the right decision to let me live on this earth. I'm going to be a better person. I am not done living. I have alot to offer this world. Paula let me sit on her motorcycle and showed me pictures of her kids. Clara you are going to have beautiful children someday, remember that. My dad arrives. Police ask questions, what happened? I tell them. Clara were not going to give you a ticket, we are so glad that your alive. Presley's dad arrives. I look at Presley. She's laughing. What? Doesn't she realize that the whole world is falling apart? How can she be happy right now? Presley smiling will always be a sign of hope to me. I go home. Presley, and Lauren go to the hospital in an ambulance. My dad and mom take me to the hospital to see them. The nurse is a bitch. You can not go and see them. Yes I can! I was in the wreck with them. My dad forces me to go home. I get home, and my head starts to hurt. Back to the emergency room. I got my head stapled, wounds cleaned, and a head ct scan. Fine. Went and got awful waffle. Yum. Lauren was wearing a big optimus prime mask. If it weren't for that mask she would of died. I am so grateful to be alive. That is the reason why sitting on my roof means the whole world to me. I hope I have the opportunity to sit alot more. Thank you God. That is all I have to say.
p.S. Ramones memorial service will be held soon.
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