my big nose.

Sometimes I tell people that my mom is part jewish. She's not. I just need an explanation for my big nose. With a bump in it. I've wanted a nose job as long as I can remember. Before I knew what a nose job really was. But I look all the women I look up to have big noses, with bumps in it. My mom,aunt and Nanny. They're beautiful. And so am I. Bumpy nose included. It fits my face. I can wear a middle part with my nose and pull it off. An hour ago I tried writing on here. But everything I wrote was super sad. But now I'm happy again. I seem to be bipolar(I'm not). I alway's feel so weak when I cry. I hold it all in. And then about once a month I get SUPER depressed. And cry for like two days straight. And you know what I realized? Its okay to cry and be sad and mourn my life of what could of beens. Because I heard somewhere that crying makes you strong. It means that you're still alive. That you have feelings and that you can make it through this. But it also doesn't mean that we can not completely pity ourselves. Its okay to have our crying sessions but we also need to realize that people love us and that we have a purpose in life. Because God didn't send us here to be lost and alone. He sent us here to try us. He trusted us so much that he sent us down here to live. Wow, he really loves us. 

This weekend I slept over at nolles. Watched mean girls and that thing you do. Realized I should of been born in the sixties because the clothes are to DIE for(: Slept over with emma, aubree and Nolle in one room. Oh on tuesday is my other mommy's birthday!!! Surprise party! shhhh its a secret! I laid on the floor with these cute girls and laughed until I made no sound. Ultimate therapy session. Saturday went shopping and out to dinner with Jordyn, Krista, and Sean. Drove for the first time since the wreck to anywhere besides blockbuster. I like driving, I don't like being the passenger so much. I tend to cry whenever I'm in a car. I'm working on it. But driving I'm okay. Then I'm in control. Spent saturday/sunday night in saltlake with the mom. Had super fun.Slept alot. Watched multiple chickflicks and read memoirs of a geisha(thanks krista!). Missed Veronica. She got to me to realize how much I'm worth. Along with multiple other people...Nolle, Mom, Abbie sawyer, Linze, Alex, Krista. The people I love. Oh and of COURSE caley:) 

Things I'm loving right now.

1. Laughing and playing in the fall leaves(goes without saying stepping on crunchy leaves)

Laughing at midnight until I make no sound with Emma and Nolle.

Actually just Emma and Nolle in general.

This picture that Veronica sent me. She's inspired.

The fact that my nephew Grant is four. 

This beautiful wedding set.

{Peace. Love. And Granola Bars}