Right now i miss getting texts that tell Me I'm beautiful. From someone of the opposite gender( thoughts still appreciated mom) and occasionally I listen to creep by radio head and feel like that sums me up. You're a beautiful angel and I'm a creep and a
Weirdo.
Par for the course. I sleep with a bottle of moisturizer IN my bed with me. Loser status I know. And I know more teachers than I do students. I sometimes don't want to be all cute and bubbly and nice to people. Sometimes I want to walk past someone I know and not be all charming. In fact I actually want to hit some people. Like sock em in the balls. I finished a whole 2 years of Spanish in three months. I'm just now beginning to let myself believe that graduating early Might really happen and I can really start over. I don't know what is pushing me to leave, but I'm getting pulled like a little red wagon,
I can't avoid where I end up. And I know that little old Utah is not where I want to be. Yes I am a girl and I want to be a mom. And be a wife. But I am scared shitless of falling in love and getting married. I have my whole life to be a domestic kind of woman. And I feel so much pressure living here to get married and pop out Babies. I have to leave. I want to live. I want to explore. Try new foods. Go to college. Become a doctor. Write. Read. Help uneducated women. Paint a master piece. Sing. Ski. Meditate. I have to leave. I dont know why so I will. But I will also enjoy my time here.
{peace, love, and granola bars}
i attended international school bangkok for high school. I never once thought of getting married and having kids. Neither did any of my friends. I had lots better things to think about, like my cool siblings, parents, girlfriends, boyfriends, college, career, traveling, the Vietnam War, integration of the schools, etc. . There is a time and a season for everything under the sun. This is not the time to stress over marital status and motherhood. Let this be the time for blossoming into a happy adult, for being a great daughter and sister and aunt and friend. The future is always one day away. The present is here now in your hands. Use it wisely. Once it's gone, you can never get it back. Don't lose your todays worrying about your tomorrows. Mommy
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