Heartbreak warfare

Im a young girl. Only sixteen years old and I realize I am constantly learning. My latest lesson is on the joys and pains of heartbreak. No I haven't fallen in love, or ever been close. I've hoped as I still continue to do so, but I've realized something. Something I've been told a thousand times.{WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT THINGS WILL FALL INTO PLACE}. No matter how hard I want a boyfriend it won't be what I need if I push it. Yes I will get hurt and do the hurting in the process of figuring out life. You never get told this but doing the heartbreaking hurts. Even though I'd rather be the person doing the heartbreaking, instead of the person with the breaking heart a thousand times over. But you never get told when you're breaking hearts that you worry about your morality and if you're still a good person. Yes you are. Sometimes life is about looking out for yourself. Even if you can't fathom hurting people.  You shouldn't have to worry. God has some crazy way of working things out. I stayed up on a weekend night until the wee hours of the morning watching the notebook. That movie gets me every time. If you're a bird I'm a bird. 

I don't know why but I feel like the smallest thing on earth is going to make me blowup. If you say the wrong thing I will cry. Don't judge me. Let me be myself. Let me realize that I can believe in what I want to for spirituality. I can say whatever words I want. I can choose who I hang out with. I am more than money. I am more than a car. I have feelings. Im sick of being used. I can pick who I want to go out on a date with. I have the right to say NO.  I have the right to wear a dress and drink tea. Every day. I have the right to read what I feel like. I have the right to choose who I like in politics. I have the right to tell someone I don't like the music. I have the right to be ME. Why can't people realize this? I'm just going to cry. Life can you get better and less stressful? This little girl is wondering what to do with her future.

.Life is like juggling--keeping multiple objects in the air simultaneously and periodically changing various of them for others while trying to keep them all airborne. Periodically some or all objects crash to the earth and that's a drag but not fatal. Life is about finding the combination that works for you---Wise words from my mom